Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
