8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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