ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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