So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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