yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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