the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
