is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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