I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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