The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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