I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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