Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
