he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
