at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
