Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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