There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
someone owes me an orgasm
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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