I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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