I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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