Well apparently he's into motor boating.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
