they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
