I want to walk on stilts...naked
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
pop tarts are not kleenex
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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