those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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