Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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