it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
