My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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