considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
