I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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