He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
