its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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