If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
