Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
