Porn is love you can see.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
