I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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