we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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