I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize