i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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