Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
