We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
