so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
