She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
