she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
