They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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