Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
