At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
