I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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