dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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