'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
