sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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