Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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