Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
