i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
