shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My vagina is very pro this idea
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