I want to walk on stilts...naked
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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