She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
