I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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