i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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