So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
