Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
3pm strippers are depressing
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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